I couldnt make this stuff up ...

Oh where to start. I guess I'll go chronologically. So first of all, I suffer from migraines. I blame YOU mom. Just kidding, but it does run in the family. Mine didnt start till around puberty, but lil' sis started getting them while still in elementary school. Poor thing. Anywho, they suck. I usually take a Migraine Excedrin as soon as I feel one coming on- but this time I delayed and it inevitably got worse. In addition to the Excedrin I always need a shoulder rub and a hot shower. But this morning I realized I was out of soap so no shower. I am also sans fiance at the moment so no back rub either.
Long story long- I ended up going to a Korean Massage parlor in a sketchy basement. It was out of pure desperation and also I only had ten dollars on me. This particular establishment is located below the laundromat near by the theater. It smelled slightly of cat and consisted of two rows of "beds" partitioned only by sheer curtains. I think I was supposed to undress- but yeah right. Ive heard about women contracting vaginal infections from tanning beds- so just imagine what I could have picked up there. All weird sketchiness aside- it was a great massage. I think I might have to go longer next time. Thats right, I said next time. Maybe I'll consider wearing a tank top and running shorts so she can at least use the lotion and not have to rub through my jeans and turtleneck.
So after the massage I was all relaxed and I headed towards the subway home. Now, if you've read any of my former posts on the subway- you know this post is about to get gross. A man was urinating in the corner of the platform. Not a homeless man, no. A US Post Man! In uniform! I couldnt believe it- although, you'd think by now Id be used to such things.
Then, while on the ride home this guy starting singing along (very loudly and very off key) to whatever song was on his ipod. Always annoying- but his particular song went something like this.... "Sex. Sex. Sex. It will make a baby. Sex. Sex. Sex. Some like it fast, some like it slow" So on and so forth. I just couldnt help myself and I started giggling. I couldnt stop- and when I made eye contact with another passenger who was giggling too, we both erupted in to uncontrollable laughter. Of course this just spurred the man on- but damn, it was so funny/ terrible!
Ah, just another day in NYC. I mean- I couldnt make this stuff up if I tried.