Don't give up!

Have you ever had to just put yourself out there? Its hard. Really hard. It takes a lot of nerve to call places over and over just hoping that someone will agree to meet with you and take our resume. Today I called a particularly well know ballet company to do just that and the response was harsh. Like hitting a brick wall. I was feeling very defeated. Then, a few minutes after I had hung up with the Supervisor, I got a call back. It was from his assistant. He said something like this:

"I just wanted to tell you, that I know it was really hard to do what you did. It's hard to put yourself out there, but don't give up."

It took all of my effort not to cry on the phone with him. I wanted to unload all of my frustrations onto someone who understood. I took a deep breath and somehow squeaked out:

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Don't worry, I wont give up. You'll hear back from me."

I wonder if he knows that he made my week. Maybe even my month.

Progress

Dropped my resume off at 15 shows today: Hair, Chicago, Jersey Boys, Rock of Ages, Fela!, Wicked, Spider-Man, Billy Elliot, Phantom, Lion King, Mary Poppins, West Side Story, In the Heights, The Addams Family and Mamma Mia! Phew! Maybe I'll hear back from one of them?

The truth about being un-employed for nearly a year?

It sucks. Dont get me wrong, there are things I love about it, but is not the cake walk some may think it is. Lets weigh the pros and cons.

Pro's
1. No alarm clock. Well, I still set one for 8:30 every morning, but it is nice to know I can ignore it if I want to.
2. A clean house. I find myself cleaning and organizing almost non-stop to feel as though Im contributing to the household.
3. Tea and T.V. Relaxing and enjoying my favorite movie or HGTV program.
4. E time. Eating dinner together and being in bed before 2 am is something you do not get while running a show.
5. Plenty of time to be creative... only here's where things get ugly.

I dont feel creative. I am not great at self- motivating. I am an expert procrastinator. I excel at nap taking. I am quick to excuse my laziness.

The truth is I havent done all that I can do to find a job, even a temporary one. The few bits of work that have popped up for me over the past 10 months have been due to random recommendations, rather than my "go-getter-ness". I have become complaisant and reliant on un-employment benefits, which are now gone. Which brings me to the major Con of all of this:

1. NO MONEY! I know I'm not alone here. Many people have faced this issue recently. I became comfortable with the salary I was making at American Girl and never really re-adjusted my spending when those checks went bye- bye. My next job at Forbidden Broadway payed almost $500 less a month than at AG, but the little bit of cushion I had built up kept me a float for a while. So when that job went bye- bye too, I was really screwed.

2. Feeling Useless. I know, I know, Mom- I am sooooo talented. Sometimes I do feel that way, but after months of not working you begin to doubt yourself. I applied for a few jobs I thought I would be truly great for and they didnt happen. The truth is that I dont do well with rejection. Who does? In all honesty, things have usually come pretty easy to me. I havent had to struggle much. I've been very lucky. So, this is really my first bought with "hard".

3. Feeling Dependant. Eric has been really great and understanding during this time. Especially after getting married he really accepted the whole "our money" thing. Still, he's no millionaire and I know he's feeling the strain of my financial dependency. I dont like it much either. I've always been able to support myself and it has been a real piece of humble pie to realize that I can't right now. Thankfully he is there for me and has only complained a few times.

* * *

Now, please dont think I am looking for sympathy here. I'm not. I merely needed to write out my feelings and admit my weaknesses. Sometimes when you put things out there they are harder to ignore.

I have applied to a few part time jobs this week, so hopefully one of them will come through with a little bit of cash flow. I also recently registered with I.A.T.S.E 764 Wardrobe Union, which means I am eligible to work on Broadway. Yippie! but getting my foot in that "stage door", well it wont be easy. Broadway is hurting financially too and lots of experienced people are out of work. Still, Im calling on all the contacts I have and trying to get my name circulating. I'd like to say that by years end I WILL be working a Broadway show. Cross your fingers for me.

I realize that there are actually more pro's than con's listed, but I think the con's are of much greater weight. Wow, if you've actually read this entire post, than I thank you for "listening".

Queen Esther and the Harlem Gospel Singers

Today I started working on costumes for Queen Esther and the Harlem Gospel Singers European Tour:



I cant wait to go to a rehearsal!

USQD

I'll be a little MIA for the next few days because I was brought on last minute to run the show Union Squared in the Fringe Festival.



Check it out!

Backstage with Rachel Papo

For a beautiful glimpse into the backstage world (and the life I love) check out the amazing work of Rachel Papo.

Backstage, St. Petersburg, Russia, 2007


Backstage at a Cry-Baby dress rehearsal, New York, 2008 — for New York Magazine

Set change at The Metropolitan Opera, New York, 2006 — for The New York Sun


Fitting The Nutcracker Costumes of New York City Ballet, New York, 2006 — for The New York Sun

Via Oh Joy!

This is sew me!

Modcloth

My Uniform

Bye Bye Forbidden Broadway

Another show closed :-( Forbidden Broadway NY has come to an end...



I had so much fun with you guys! Thanks for the laughs!

Just incase anyone thought my job was glamorous...

let me tell you, its not. For one- theaters in NYC are, for the most part, very old and in poor condition. A smaller theater's building most likely started its life as something else like a fire house or a horse stable and was converted to a theater somewhere between the 1920's- 1970's. This means small awkward spaces, uneven floors, no insulation, and strange smells. There are usually mice and sometimes cockroaches. In many a theater I have started my daily routine by wiping tiny turds of my workspace. Why, just two days ago, during a show, a 2" cockroach dropped into a wig I was about to put on an actress. I had to flick it off quickly before she came off stage and had to put the wig on her head. Hey, the show must go on. Later I rolled over it with a roller skate. On top of this- my job requires the frequent touching of sweaty clothing and even sweatier bodies. In a show like Forbidden Broadway, where each actor is changing costumes every three minutes for 1.5 hours, there is no avoiding this. I have become accustomed to it over the years and I no longer flinch at the idea of having a damp dance belt flung at me or having to reach into a crumpled, moist knee sock. Its just part of the job. Glamorous? No. Yet, for some reason, I love it!

I love this illustration by blogger Wilson Swain. A few years a go I developed my alter ego Euphimia McGillacutty. She is the personal dresser of a London theater star in the early 1900's. She is also secretly in love with the flower delivery boy who brings bouquets to the stage door. Euphi pretends they are for her. After the shows are over and the theater is empty she puts the ladies costumes on and dances on stage. She also sings a song- but that has to be done in person.

Where'd Everybody Go?

So, not the best time to be in the theater biz. Here's a little snipet from an article on playbill.com...

PLAYBILL.COM'S THEATRE WEEK IN REVIEW, Jan. 3-9: Where'd Everybody Go?
By Robert Simonson
09 Jan 2009


So let's look on the bright side: theatre owners will be saving a lot on their electricity bills this month.

Nine Broadway shows gave their final performances on Jan. 4. It's more complicated than that, of course. Some, like White Christmas, Slava's Snowshow and Dividing the Estate, are simply concluding their limited run. Another, 39 Steps, is simply taking a breather before reopening at the Helen Hayes on Jan. 21. But whatever the reasons, you just don't want to see a quarter of Broadway's theatres go dark at once. You just don't. What's more, three more shows — Spamalot, All My Sons and Gypsy will close on Jan. 11 and Spring Awakening one week later.

There are some silver linings. The hit farce Boeing-Boeing recouped well before closing and will begin a national tour in 2009. And no one can really feel sorry for Hairspray, which ran forever. Grease also stayed a fairly long time (too long, to some critical tastes). But doubtless the producers of those shows, along with Young Frankenstein and 13, probably feel cheated by the economy of what might have been a long run.

Yeah.

Bad blogger :-(

Well, I've been a bad, bad blogger! These past few weeks have been kind of crazy for two reasons. One, I started a new job! Two, Eric severely sprained his ankle!

My new job is as the Wardrobe Supervisor for the Off- Broadway show Forbidden Broadway! The show is a hilarious 1.5 hour spoof of Broadway shows and stars, past and present. Think the SNL of musical theater. It is by far the hardest track I've ever run- I dont sit down for one second, not even during intermission! Its so fun though and Im finally not having to refer to my notes!




Now, Eric's ankle. He sprained it while playing football and it was nasty! It looked like his ankle swallowed a grapefruit! He couldnt do anything for a week. Now hes fine and going to work again, but its still not fully healed.

**ERIC made me remove the picture of is ankle!**

Im so excited for Monday because we're renting a car and driving to Buffalo to see a Bills game! Its going to be frigid, but Im really going to try and not complain! It cant be worse than the Nascar race, right? Check back for a final verdict on that.

Oh, and I have to take a picture of our local Burger King for you because they are leasing their PlayPlace! How do you lease a PlayPlace? Who's going to move in there, an attorney of some kind? Only in New York people, I tell ya!